DUDE! BRO! Doesn't this make you want to destruct things?! You can't sit through these trailers and not want to fight your best friend. I cannot tell you how much I fucking love trailers for period pieces set to rock music where no one says anything. It's like, my three favorite things all rolled into one thing. 1.) Trailers. They show you all the best parts but you don't have to sit through the whole thing. I wish women were more like trailers. 2.) Rock music. A fucking awesome combo of sounds that get you PUMPED. I wish women combos were more like rock music. 3.) No one says anything. I wish women were more like not saying anything.
I don't really give a crap about the whole period piece thing. I'm pretty sure history was just invented by smart people so that they can have conversations with other people who aren't their age. But that's stupid because that's what "The Simpsons" is for! And I know rock music wasn't around for that time period, but if rock music wasn't in the trailer, I wouldn't know I'm supposed to like the movie. Like, I know I won't like indie films because the music in the trailers are fucking gentle and acoustic and shit. That music makes me feel like I'm rubbing a tampon on a balloon under a waterfall. This music makes me feel like I'm thrusting a stalagmite through a dragon's heart in my girlfriend's dad's bedroom. P.S. I'm shirtless.
My girlfriend thinks I should learn about history so that I know what not to do. But after watching these trailers, I'm pretty sure history will only teach me exactly what it is I want to do, and that is KICK SOME ASS WHILE FUCKING METALLICA PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND.
I wish women didn't have period pieces.
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