It's November. Time to choose. Time to weigh out our opinions, align our beliefs and decide what team we're on.
No, I'm not talking about elections. Politics are for old people that don't know how to use the internet. What I'm talking about is
soooo much cooler. I mean, like
hello, what else combines mythical creatures with cute boys?
TWILIGHT!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!LA:TKshadkrsfafsajdfl;a
Sorry, my fingers got too excited typing the word "Twilight" and it just OM&;Sдfja;;wзbe;rjSLñ($rfu* went crazy. I even got some Russian symbols and a Spanish "n" out of it somehow. That's how amazing the Twilight saga is. It's possessing my hand.
Hmmm, buff dogs or pretty bloodsuckers? I can't decide. I'll take both please!So what team are YOU? Team Jacob or Team Edward?? If you can't decide, then you are an emotionless shell of a human being with no soul. Every woman knows that Jacob and Edward are the truest representations of love.
If you've been living under a rock, let me break it down for you. There are two kinds of men in the world, werewolves (Jacob) and vampires (Edward). You either like one or the other. Those on
Team Jacob like their men strong, dark, loyal, and hairy, kind of like dogs. Men like Jacob will love a girl unconditionally and go through any lengths to make her happy. Like, he'll tag along to a lame movie with you so that creepy boy that asked you out won't think it's a date. Jacob is the kind of guy that makes girls feel good about themselves, and is the ideal boyfriend for girls with insecurity issues (too bad insecure girls never date nice guys).The down side is putting up with the constant mood swings and his disappearing for days at a time. They have a tendency to get violent too, but they never
mean to hurt you.
Team Edward fans like their men pretty, pale, and cold (both physically and emotionally). Men like Edward usually convey their feelings through long periods of intense eye contact and heavy breathing, as well as casual stalking. He'll never really kiss you, because kissing you is too "painful" or whatever. He'll leave you for your own good, run off to Rio de Janeiro, and then mope around there for 6 months before attempting to commit suicide when he thinks you're dead. Awww how sweet! Isn't that what true love is all about?
If my explanation of the Edward-Jacob dichotomy isn't enough for you, go see New Moon. It's full of intense stares, heavy breathing, and men ripping off their shirts...in the rain...mmmm (omg I think I'm drooling! shhhhh don't tell anyone). And there's some vampire-werewolf action, so you can drag along your lame boyfriend and show him what a
REAL man is all about. Whether you pick Team Jacob or Team Edward, it's all up to you and your taste. Me personally, I'm on
Team Zac. I think the next Twilight sequel should add Zac Efron as a new character. Maybe a centaur? That would be
sooooo hot. Shirtless Zac Efron with horse legs <3! Did I mention SHIRTLESS? In the RAIN?! OMGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!
*This blog was written from the POV of a fictional hormonal teenage girl and in no way reflects the opinions of the writer. In other words, I'm not really like this. Really. I'm not.
